Dictionary of a Mother
Dumbwaiter - One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert
Feedback - The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots
Full Name - What you call your child when you're mad at him
Grandparents - The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right
Independent - How we want our children to be for as long as they do everything we say
Show Off - A child who is more talented than yours
Whodunit - None of the kids that live in your house
Mother's Day Joke
A small boy is sent to bed by his mother...
[Five minutes later]"Mom..."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a glass of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
[Five minutes later]"Mom..."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY...Can I have a glass of water??"
"I told you NO! If you ask again I'll have to spank you!!"
[Five minutes later]"Mommm..."
"WHAT??!!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a glass of water?"
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